Tuesday, you are so good to me!

I've been trying to sort out what has been going on lately that has left me drained & spent yet able to take long strides towards the new road ahead of me.   I don't have the words or the insight to capture the essence of what events and emotions have surrounded the last week of my life, but one thing is for sure: I am thankful for today. 

I went to bed Sunday night overwhelmed with the awareness that this is my last week as a graduate student.  More often than not, I doubted that I would ever be able to say that.   Certainly I have had many significant "endings" within this two year stretch of my life, but nothing this final.   I woke up this morning realizing that I will never pay tuition to the University of Minnesota again.  I no longer have to strategically plan when to purchase my text books so that I can buy them all at the same time but still be early enough to get the best used books on the shelf.  I don't have to drop $50.00 at Target every few weeks in order to keep my printer inked up and ready to print the large variety of articles, notes and of course, assignments I need for class.  Most importantly, I am finally moving to a stage of my life where my income can cover the cost of living.  To say this week is significant, would be a huge understatement.  The implications of this ending are as far reaching as they are permanent.  With one final left to write and one more class to attend, I am starting to let Jesus establish the hope of a new beginning in my life.  

Amidst the incredible amount of things I have been working on in order to finish this chapter and start the next one, Jesus has been really faithful.   After paying the final dollars on my summer tuition bill I was left a lot poorer than I had originally planned.  Just in case you have never been in a place where you have had to count your dollars and shamefully turn down invitations because you are trying to pay your rent next month, I am here to tell you that it is a deeply humbling and taxing situation to be in.   The reality is that countless Americans face the same situation I am currently in, but on a much more permanent and severe level.  I have a job AND two college degrees.  I made it all the way to my final week of graduate school before being in a financial position that was worth actual concern.   That in and of itself speaks to the kind of privilege and provision that has supported my journey thus far.  I may not be able to pay for a Wicked ticket or buy new running shoes for my race on Saturday, but I'm not hungry and I'm not homeless and I have my very own car.  Just this morning I got a text message from one of the families I nanny for asking if I can babysit for over 7 hours on Thursday.  Why yes, yes I can!  I am also babysitting Friday night & another day next week.  When Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow, He meant it.   My faith has been stretched and God has reminded me that not only am I not in control, I have no need to be. 

I am looking forward to what is ahead while appreciating where I am at today because in both situations, I know that I am not standing alone.  How about you?