Saturday, January 29, 2011

counting my blessings

Here we are wrapping up the end of January, and I don't know about you, but I sure have a lot to be thankful for.   When I pause long enough to take a deep breath and count my blessings, I find myself overwhelmed with gratefulness because I am faced with the knowledge that the many things which have blessed me so immensely, were grown out of really deep pain and hardship.  

It's no secret that college + grad school were perpetually awful for a lot of reasons.  Having only recently shed my student status, I am still standing in the aftermath of a lot of that pain.  However, even with jokes of my strict 3pm bedtime for the first 2 months of my teaching career, still surfacing in conversation, working has been so good.  There are days when I question my career choice, mostly because I don't like being bitten or sworn at or spit on but. thankfully, Jesus stands as constant truth and perspective through it all.  This career was never my idea but Jesus knew that I needed it to redeem me,  fill my heart, ignite my passions and give me countless opportunities to stand in the gap for both students and co-workers alike. 

Work is work, which means that for most of us, we end the day drained across all domains.  However, I also end my day filled with the sweet memories of creative learning and crazy commentary.  Little kids tell you exactly what they are thinking, and most of the time, they do it impulsively.  I am hugged more times a day than I can count.  I am surrounded by smiles and every once in a while, someone will speak up and say something like,

"Ms. Nolte, I love you. You my best friend".  Or:

 "HI NOLTE! WHAT YOU DOIN? I HOPE YOU HAVE A GOOD DAY! I LOVE YOU!"

I don't know who loved who first, but in a season of my life where echoes of change and transition ripple through every part of me and my friendships are largely inconsistent, my students love me generously, without hesitation or boundaries.  

I started this job determined to create an environment where these children felt love, accepted and known but I never anticipated how true those things would become for me.   And as tokens of the sweetness of it all, every once in  a while I get little gifts handed to me:
Sonic! Hedgehog!
A note from the very first time I was observed.
Jesus knows things that we don't.  He sees the big picture and because of that, He really can create beauty from ashes. 

1 comment:

  1. Erica~What a beautiful post. There are in fact days I question if I'm in the right field and if I will want to do this forever. Some days are just too difficult. However, God is always whispering to me little things that reassure me that I am in fact in the right place and in the right field right now. When I run into a parent who is a Christian or has children in the Christian private school down the road they ALWAYS thank me for teaching in the public school and tell me that I am needed there. Remember that Erica! I am so proud of you for taking on your first year of teaching. Can you believe you are half-way done?!

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