If it wasn't quickly approaching 10pm, I would take the time to fill you in on how things are going. But alas, my bedtime is quickly approaching so you'll have to settle for a quick update:
My week got off to a rough start, largely due to a weekend bracketed by stress. I'm still praying a lot about what my "free" time should look like, especially since I exert the vast majority of my extroverted energy at my job. By Friday the only thing I want to do is put on my sweatpants and crawl into my room. I'm not watching tv, I'm not talking on the phone, I'm not even reading books or knitting. I'm just sitting. The activity of the week takes its toll and everything in my needs to be still. While reading the details of how I am currently handling my weekends, please bear in mind that I am still in the thick of a major life transition and I have a lot to juggle. The stillness may be merited, at least for now but it's hard to be still and to be actively investing in my friendships.
I know that I need people in my life but I have been struggling with how to include them while still allowing myself rest. When I do make plans, I end up canceling them or falling off the radar in an attempt to throw myself a life-line and recoup some of the resources I expended over the course of the week. Last weekend in particular I was sick, so I had to cancel all of my plans so that I could sleep (seriously, I slept for over 30 hours. Insane.) but because I had the stomach flu the weekend before, my "no I can't hang out with you, I'm sick" explanation was not very well received. Hence, the stress. Today when I was navigating downtown Saint Paul traffic, this song came on the radio reminding me that the grace that I desperately crave in my life can only be found in Jesus.
So tonight I am crawling into bed wrapped in the promise that I serve God who is bigger than my exhaustion. He is purposeful in all things and never hesitates to wrap me in endless grace.
The past two weekends I have turned down offers to hang-out, because I literally need a couple days to rejuvenate and be away from people. I am on my feet Mon.-Thur. non-stop all day/all evening. About 3 weekends ago I was booked with things on my calendar and I went into Monday feeling so unrested, that's what led me to do nothing the last 2 weekends. I have come to the conclusion that maybe that isn't such a good idea. Perhaps I need to at least make plans to do at least one thing. Maybe that's something to consider---make a goal to at least make 1 plan and the rest of the weekend is yours. An extrovert is going to have no idea why you would choose to stay in for the weekend, but I highly doubt they would want to put up with someone who has been overly busy. ;) In conclusion, I can totally relate! From one introvert to another. :)
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