Love.

How many times do you go throughout your day with an unmistakable ache in the pit of your stomach because you just need someone to hug you?  How often do you interact with your coworkers and long for a kind word to be shared or a gesture that shows support?  For me, I feel this way everyday.  But there is a purpose for every ache because it's these very feelings that prompt me to love my students.   To hug them.  To share kind words. To demonstrate that I believe in them. To do whatever I can to support their learning.  To value their effort - even when it doesn't meet my expectations. 

When I drive to work in the morning and I feel hopelessly unprepared, I remind myself to choose love.  It may seem silly and a little bit cliche, but the reality is that sometimes I teach good Science, sometimes I teach mediocre Science, and most of the time I have no idea how I made it from 7:40 - 2:35.  That's okay because school is about more than academic intervention; it's about modeling good character and communicating worth to these kids.   

Today a little boy asked me if he could go home with me.  Why? Because he knows that I love him.  
Today another little boy got out of his chair over 10 times during my 50 minute class period to give me a hug.  Why? Because he knows that I love him.  

I may not have the right tools to teach Science in a way that is going to raise test scores, but I didn't become a teacher to help kids test well. I became a teacher so that I could communicate value to the students who have been told their whole lives that they are stupid or worthless or unlovable.  I became a teacher so that I could care for the kids who don't get cared for by anyone else.  I became a teacher so that I could make sure that these kids hear at least one nice thing about themselves a day.

I share this because I feel so stressed that I'm jittery.   I know why I am doing what I'm doing but sometimes I just need to write it down or share it with someone else so that I can stop feeling inadequate.   So thanks for stepping into my classroom for a few minutes and rallying with me.    We all need a little support to be able to do the things that really matter in life.