Two days ago one of my friends from undergrad called me, but I didn't listen to her voicemail message until tonight. I had to smile while listening to her exasperated apology for not keeping in better touch. The Lord is so good at appointing people in my life who know me through different seasons by identifying with my struggles and needs, which has set the stage for this friend to remain a sweet part of my life even though our paths seldom cross. We both graduated this year and in her voicemail, by way of an update, she shared ,"oh, Erica, life after college. . . is. . . good, but it is so different." If you have been out of college for a long time, then the weighted truth of this simple statement probably isn't as humbling for you as it is for me.
You see, as I experience a wide spectrum of unpredictable emotion on a day-to-day basis, the only thing that continues to be true is the raw amazement that I carry with me. Sometimes I marvel at the surprising peace that comes from spending a holiday like Thanksgiving with my family without having to crack a textbook, uncap a highlighter or open Microsoft Word. Sometimes I get teary-eyed realizing that I spent an entire Saturday moving between leisurely activities and life tasks without the pressure of looming deadlines or piles of unread research articles subtly stealing my joy. Mostly though, this amazement scrolls through the following sequence of new realities: I have a job. I am considered a professional. I am accountable for the education of children who do not have other people in their lives to pick up my stack. I am responsible for managing my own money. I am no longer bound to Minnesota by an unfinished education, and therefore have the freedom to make decisions to improve the quality of my life. I own a car and it's my job to take care of it.
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The truth is, life after college is baffling because I have not fully recovered all of the energy, emotion and life that I invested to make it to the end of school. So many times in my college career I felt helpless, unable and completely unequipped. Ultimately, the job I currently hold and the degree hanging on my wall stand as a small earthly example that God is so much bigger than my own inabilities. However, I left everything on the table just to finish without realizing that I would need those same resources back in order to go to work each day and maintain my relationships.
And so the questions remain: what is life after college supposed to look like? How do I regain the optimism, perspective and empathy that I know the Lord desires in my life when the job I have prompts the same flashes of insecurity and hopeless that followed me through school? Our battle isn't against flesh and blood and it doesn't change just because our life circumstances do.
I don't want to create redundancy in this post, but I feel compelled to share a story:
A few weeks into my job, I wrapped up the most critical piece of my Masters degree. In order to fully graduate, get my diploma, increase my payscale and lock in all of the credit hours I had earned towards my degree, I needed to present this final piece to a University panel. To make a long story short, my presentation was finally put on the calendar for this coming Monday. In the process of waiting for this critical date, I internalized far more frustration that necessary. As I have prayed about this important day on the horizon, the Lord has shown me that this frustration has come from a deeply broken heart and depleted spirit. Everything inside of me just wants to finish and the desperation of that desire has unearthed a lot of sin in my life. Exhaustion is not healthy which is why Jesus responds to our exhaustion by giving us Himself.
Will you join me this week is praying that as I present the final component of my graduate career, the Lord would begin the miraculous healing of the parts of my life that have been lost, damaged or broken? On my own, I can change nothing because I end up loving myself more than I trust God. Jesus is my redeemer, and I know that He has extraordinary things planed for my life..
Friday, December 10, 2010
Sunday, December 5, 2010
Little Scientists = lots of laundry!
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| Teaching is full of unexpected responsibilities, like spending Friday afternoons washing lab coats so that your students will be able to pretend they are Scientists when they come to class on Monday! |
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Sweet Spots
As I sit in my pajamas, contemplating what to teach tomorrow all the while thinking about my dirty dishes in the kitchen, I can't help but think about some of the sweet spots of this past week.
You see, I started a new rotation at school on Monday, which means that I have a whole new batch of kids until next week Friday. This is my second time through the full rotation and I realized today that the first few days of a new rotation are not very kind to my energy levels or the potential success of my lessons. Despite the joyful greetings and generous hugs that I receive upon welcoming my students into my room after not seeing them for a month, there is a large adjustment period for me and the kids as we remember how to act appropriately towards one another.
I have learned that one of my weaknesses as a teacher is classroom management. This is not necessarily because I lack boundaries or authority, rather it is mostly due to the pressing need for every class to be managed differently. My head is swimming with information as I interact, teach, and redirect each different student at any given time. Information is constantly sloshing out as new information is simultaneously added to the title wave of facts, observations and strategies that are already crashing around. I have an abundance of information to keep track of in regards to scheduling alone, let alone classroom dynamics and teaching goals! But, the sweet spot among all of that chaos is having a student who is naughty for every teacher expect you, walk up to you and with shy eyes hand you this crumpled note:
Sometimes the best things in life really are free.
You see, I started a new rotation at school on Monday, which means that I have a whole new batch of kids until next week Friday. This is my second time through the full rotation and I realized today that the first few days of a new rotation are not very kind to my energy levels or the potential success of my lessons. Despite the joyful greetings and generous hugs that I receive upon welcoming my students into my room after not seeing them for a month, there is a large adjustment period for me and the kids as we remember how to act appropriately towards one another.
I have learned that one of my weaknesses as a teacher is classroom management. This is not necessarily because I lack boundaries or authority, rather it is mostly due to the pressing need for every class to be managed differently. My head is swimming with information as I interact, teach, and redirect each different student at any given time. Information is constantly sloshing out as new information is simultaneously added to the title wave of facts, observations and strategies that are already crashing around. I have an abundance of information to keep track of in regards to scheduling alone, let alone classroom dynamics and teaching goals! But, the sweet spot among all of that chaos is having a student who is naughty for every teacher expect you, walk up to you and with shy eyes hand you this crumpled note:
Saturday, November 20, 2010
Winter is upon us
Winter is upon us, which doesn't just mean it's time to locate my shovel or dig out my mittens. It means that my electric blanket has been spread under my covers with care and delight so that I can have another toasty reason to curl into bed each night. It also means a lot of snow falling at unexpected times, interrupting my once quick commute, reminding me to watch the weather with a little more care and justifying my car radio being set to 102.9, lite fm (Justified of course because there is something about snow that merits continuous Christmas music, even if it isn't even Thanksgiving yet).
Maybe the best part of all is that winter has allowed me to dig out my collection of cute winter hats so that I can run errands looking fashionable rather than un-showered. I mean, who really wants to shower on a Saturday?!
Maybe the best part of all is that winter has allowed me to dig out my collection of cute winter hats so that I can run errands looking fashionable rather than un-showered. I mean, who really wants to shower on a Saturday?!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Oh Sam!
Remember my puppet co-teacher Sam the Scientist? He is a lot more popular than I am. I know this because although most of my students forget my name and just call me "Science", they all know Sam's name. Not just the short version, no, no, he has never been greeted solely by his first name. He is, and always will be "Sam the Scientist". I know Sam is important to my students because I am frequently stopped in the hallway with bewildered looks and desperate questions such as, "HI SCIENCE! WHERE IS SAM THE SCIENTIST?!" I usually explain that he gets tired from teaching so he is sleeping. So far, this has worked like a charm, even to the point where I have the occasional wanderer stop by my room to see if he or she can wake Sam up to say hello.
Well, a funny thing happened today. You see, on Thursday I was out of the building for a Science training, so I had a sub. Normally this wouldn't be that big of a deal but my sub happened to be named Sam. Can you see where this is going?
Today, one of my students ran through my door and immediately said to me "on Thursday Sam the Scientist CAME TO LIFE!". I was so shocked I didn't even respond, so the student kept going, "is he still ALIVE?! He was a tall man and he taught us how to mix things." Oh yes, the sub. "No, Sam the Scientist is still a puppet. . . ".
And this is why I teach special education!
Well, a funny thing happened today. You see, on Thursday I was out of the building for a Science training, so I had a sub. Normally this wouldn't be that big of a deal but my sub happened to be named Sam. Can you see where this is going?
Today, one of my students ran through my door and immediately said to me "on Thursday Sam the Scientist CAME TO LIFE!". I was so shocked I didn't even respond, so the student kept going, "is he still ALIVE?! He was a tall man and he taught us how to mix things." Oh yes, the sub. "No, Sam the Scientist is still a puppet. . . ".
And this is why I teach special education!
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Ambassador of kindness
Have you ever woken up on Tuesday morning and felt like it should be Friday? Well, it's been of those weeks for me. Not because my students were extra crazy, or because teachers seemed to have a lot of feedback for me. No, no, it has been one of "those" weeks because it's conference week. My heart broke this week because in the process of meeting many of my students parents, I encountered raw vulnerability from the shame that comes from living in poverty and stress which is connected to the awareness that you don't have the time or resources to take care of your special needs child. I was positive, I was supportive and I tired really hard not to cry, but I'm exhausted.
Here's the reality: I love having a job that requires a lot of interpersonal skills, wisdom and unsolicited kindness. I am a teacher by title but an ambassador of kindness by deed. A huge portion of my job is allowing both students and staff to walk through my door carrying whatever emotional junk was handed to them, and choosing to receive them and display kindness to them.
I may be drained and I've definitely eaten a few too many Peppermint Oreos, but I serve a God who is an Overcomer and when I have no tangible hope left, that is what I cling to.
Here's the reality: I love having a job that requires a lot of interpersonal skills, wisdom and unsolicited kindness. I am a teacher by title but an ambassador of kindness by deed. A huge portion of my job is allowing both students and staff to walk through my door carrying whatever emotional junk was handed to them, and choosing to receive them and display kindness to them.
I may be drained and I've definitely eaten a few too many Peppermint Oreos, but I serve a God who is an Overcomer and when I have no tangible hope left, that is what I cling to.
Tuesday, November 2, 2010
A few victories of the day:
-I found a stash of white glue in a storage closet, which I gratefully added to my sparce supplies.
-I finally, finally read through all of my students medical forms and was able to file them for good.
-I scheduled a substitute teacher using the online system all by myself.
I am settling in and learning the ropes one day at a time.
As a side note, this morning I found Epsom salt in one of my drawers that expired in 2000. Oh the joys of replacing a retired teacher!
-I found a stash of white glue in a storage closet, which I gratefully added to my sparce supplies.
-I finally, finally read through all of my students medical forms and was able to file them for good.
-I scheduled a substitute teacher using the online system all by myself.
I am settling in and learning the ropes one day at a time.
As a side note, this morning I found Epsom salt in one of my drawers that expired in 2000. Oh the joys of replacing a retired teacher!
Sunday, October 31, 2010
the flavors of fall
Every once in a while I put down my pile of "how to" Science books to brush up on my neglected but not forgotten quest towards domestication. One recipe that recently dirtied my mixing bowl, happened to capture the essence of fall and the approval of my friends. After all, Panera is not the only one who can whip up a good Moist Pumpkin Spice Muffin.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
snapshots
Every time I grab my laptop with the intention of sorting through my thoughts long enough to blog, I have numerous topics, both significant and insignificant, that compete to be cemented in writing. It's not that I have so many noteworthy things happen that I can't keep up with sharing them all, or even that I want to publish a variety of information about myself on the internet. Rather, I sort through the avalanche of information which bombard my thoughts in order to find the focus of posts because it is the process of writing that de-clutters my brain, helps sort truth from untruth and waters seeds of rest which are growing alongside a harvest of stress.
I could write a humerus, yet truthful post about how Ritz Classic Cheddar Crackerfuls might single-handily unravel all of the progress I made training for my half-marathon. I could write a creative and insightful editorial about how talking for a living has significantly decreased the number of phone calls I return. There is of course the funny-student stories which pepper my workdays and help anchor my sanity. I could make fun of myself for listening to this song when I need some teacher-inspiration. Given the right mood, I could share about the obstacles which seem to prevent me from changing my single status, such as spending my free time recouping from my extroverted job. If I had better track of my time I would share how long it takes me to wash and then also put away my laundry. We could all get a few smiles and a couple of groans out of the description of my messy and (most likely) germ-infested bathroom. This list is endless because it is ever-changing and therefore reflective of both the growth and consistencies of my life. As is appropriate for an internet based, and therefore very public outlet, you only see a snapshot of my life at any given time. Although genuine, this snapshot is often edited, narrowed, and written with an audience in mind. I am a writer at my core so I save all of my unedited topics for my journal. After all, nothing beats sipping a cup of hot chocolate at my favorite coffee shop, while settling into a big cushy chair with my trusty green pen and journal in hand.
I could write a humerus, yet truthful post about how Ritz Classic Cheddar Crackerfuls might single-handily unravel all of the progress I made training for my half-marathon. I could write a creative and insightful editorial about how talking for a living has significantly decreased the number of phone calls I return. There is of course the funny-student stories which pepper my workdays and help anchor my sanity. I could make fun of myself for listening to this song when I need some teacher-inspiration. Given the right mood, I could share about the obstacles which seem to prevent me from changing my single status, such as spending my free time recouping from my extroverted job. If I had better track of my time I would share how long it takes me to wash and then also put away my laundry. We could all get a few smiles and a couple of groans out of the description of my messy and (most likely) germ-infested bathroom. This list is endless because it is ever-changing and therefore reflective of both the growth and consistencies of my life. As is appropriate for an internet based, and therefore very public outlet, you only see a snapshot of my life at any given time. Although genuine, this snapshot is often edited, narrowed, and written with an audience in mind. I am a writer at my core so I save all of my unedited topics for my journal. After all, nothing beats sipping a cup of hot chocolate at my favorite coffee shop, while settling into a big cushy chair with my trusty green pen and journal in hand.
Time
Time moves quickly. The only tangible evidence I have to prove the rapid nature of the seconds, minutes and hours that make up my days are the things that fill those spaces. All throughout college I kept I very detailed planner, which was affectionately named my "gopher guide". Time has a way of promoting us to new forms of scheduling because I have upgraded my gopher guide to a teacher plan book. In addition to being a clear indicator of my career, this book keeps a very detailed record of what I do between the hours of 7am and 3pm, Monday through Friday. I have recently realized that having a planner which limits the days and hours that can be scheduled has created an unspoken importance for that time frame. Ordinarily I am pretty mindful of my commitments as a whole, but since becoming a special education teacher, I accomplish nothing that is not written down. I start and end my day with an overwhelmingly full mind and time moves too quickly for my thoughts to catch up with the speed with which life continues to be executed at. For example, MEA has come and gone and in its place, I have almost another full week of teaching under my belt.
Time is a funny thing, isn't it? So much happens in my days (99% of which takes place in my classroom between the hours of 7 and 3) that I can't believe it's almost November. When I started my job, I had high hopes that by now I would be teaching instead of surviving. I thought I would know how to establish classroom boundaries and routines in order to have better behaved students. I believed I would know how to teach, what to teach and how to effectively prepare the material. The bottom line: I thought I would be better at my job. But time is a funny thing and I thought wrong.
I am still in survival mode, I don't have strong classroom boundaries or routines and I still don't know what to teach, how to teach it or how to effectively prepare the material. Although I am certain that I have grown as a teacher since the start of the school year, I think that my growth is masked both by my perpetual exhaustion and need to make significant improvements in numerous areas.
Despite being so tired I could cry or the pressing need to be better at what I do, I am still thankful that I get to wake up everyday and love the little children the Lord has appointed in my life. Time may feel quick here, but I am mindful that I am making eternal investments which will put all of this in perspective when that day comes.
Time is a funny thing, isn't it? So much happens in my days (99% of which takes place in my classroom between the hours of 7 and 3) that I can't believe it's almost November. When I started my job, I had high hopes that by now I would be teaching instead of surviving. I thought I would know how to establish classroom boundaries and routines in order to have better behaved students. I believed I would know how to teach, what to teach and how to effectively prepare the material. The bottom line: I thought I would be better at my job. But time is a funny thing and I thought wrong.
I am still in survival mode, I don't have strong classroom boundaries or routines and I still don't know what to teach, how to teach it or how to effectively prepare the material. Although I am certain that I have grown as a teacher since the start of the school year, I think that my growth is masked both by my perpetual exhaustion and need to make significant improvements in numerous areas.
Despite being so tired I could cry or the pressing need to be better at what I do, I am still thankful that I get to wake up everyday and love the little children the Lord has appointed in my life. Time may feel quick here, but I am mindful that I am making eternal investments which will put all of this in perspective when that day comes.
Sunday, October 24, 2010
capturing fall
The air has gotten colder, the evenings have gotten darker and the air feels more damp. With the prediction of snow circulating among local weather men, I needed to do something to capture the essence of fall while I still had a chance. Here are some of my pictures:
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Thankful
It's 9:45am on a Thursday and I just woke up. For the first time in weeks I got out of bed wrapped in peace and motivated by joy. You see, today marks the start of statewide teacher conferences for all educators in Minnesota. As a new teacher with limited resources, I debated for a long time about whether or not I should go. After taking a hard look at the amount of stress and anxiety I have been carrying with me throughout the start of my career, I made the decision that even though I was given time off for the conference, using this time to attend the conference would do more harm than good. So here I sit, on my bedroom floor, in my pajamas, able to finally lay my burdens down.
Even though my days have been threaded with angst, they have been blanketed by blessings. The harshness of the children I work with has primed my heart to be especially sensitive to gentleness. In that sensitivity, the Lord showed me His gentleness by planting various things to surface with the purpose of calming my heart. If your life has even been threaded by angst or bracketed by stress then you know what it's like for the most unlikely things to surface and minister to your heart. These messengers of gentleness are much-needed reminders of the Lord's Sovereignty. One would never assume that their bed or the length of their commute, their garage or the cost of their laundry would carry such an important message but these simple and sometimes silly reminders are altogether necessary. There are many things that have tickled my heart with reminders of my King, but for now I invite you to meet two of my messengers:
Even though my days have been threaded with angst, they have been blanketed by blessings. The harshness of the children I work with has primed my heart to be especially sensitive to gentleness. In that sensitivity, the Lord showed me His gentleness by planting various things to surface with the purpose of calming my heart. If your life has even been threaded by angst or bracketed by stress then you know what it's like for the most unlikely things to surface and minister to your heart. These messengers of gentleness are much-needed reminders of the Lord's Sovereignty. One would never assume that their bed or the length of their commute, their garage or the cost of their laundry would carry such an important message but these simple and sometimes silly reminders are altogether necessary. There are many things that have tickled my heart with reminders of my King, but for now I invite you to meet two of my messengers:
- My bed. If you remember back to when I moved mid-July, my Aunt Joy generously donated her queen bed to me. At the time I was aware that upgrading my twin for this queen would be much more "adult" but I wasn't aware that it would be incredibly comfortable to sleep on. I lay in bed every single night and think "I am so thankful for this bed" and every single morning when I am reluctantly pushing away the covers, my thoughts once again echo similar thanks. Ultimately, I am thankful that the Lord chose to take care of my heart in a way that I would have never deemed necessary on my own.
- My garage. When I first signed the lease to the apartment I am now living in, I had the choice to pay extra to rent a remote-opened garage. Jaded by the amount of time I spent scraping off my car when I was already running late the winter before, I signed up for one without hesitation. Leave it to the Lord to move mightily, even here, because my garage is directly outside of the stairwell to my apartment. It takes me less than 2 minutes to get from my bedroom to the inside my garage each morning. The consistency of this time frame, the closeness of my vehicle to my living quarters and my ever present clear windshield causes me to be thankful everyday. I no longer have to remember where I parked or that I need to wake up early to thaw any pesky Minnesota moister off my windows. I never expected that this garage would bless me directly each and everyday, but the Lord clearly cares about every insignificant detail of day.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Because it's a short week at school I decided to abandon national standards and teach about germs, volcanoes, and magnets. After all, every child should know how to make paste out of flour and water.
As an added bonus: everyone loves being able to wear safety goggles and lab coats in Science class. It doesn't get more scientific than that!
As an added bonus: everyone loves being able to wear safety goggles and lab coats in Science class. It doesn't get more scientific than that!
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Let's be honest: I don't cope well without sleep After spending way too much time in the airport today traveling home from a wedding, I took a long Sunday afternoon nap. I still haven't gotten nearly enough work done to have a successful Monday at school BUT my body is more rested then it was 3 hours ago and right now that is all that matters.
Thursday, October 14, 2010
Love.
How many times do you go throughout your day with an unmistakable ache in the pit of your stomach because you just need someone to hug you? How often do you interact with your coworkers and long for a kind word to be shared or a gesture that shows support? For me, I feel this way everyday. But there is a purpose for every ache because it's these very feelings that prompt me to love my students. To hug them. To share kind words. To demonstrate that I believe in them. To do whatever I can to support their learning. To value their effort - even when it doesn't meet my expectations.
When I drive to work in the morning and I feel hopelessly unprepared, I remind myself to choose love. It may seem silly and a little bit cliche, but the reality is that sometimes I teach good Science, sometimes I teach mediocre Science, and most of the time I have no idea how I made it from 7:40 - 2:35. That's okay because school is about more than academic intervention; it's about modeling good character and communicating worth to these kids.
Today a little boy asked me if he could go home with me. Why? Because he knows that I love him.
Today another little boy got out of his chair over 10 times during my 50 minute class period to give me a hug. Why? Because he knows that I love him.
I may not have the right tools to teach Science in a way that is going to raise test scores, but I didn't become a teacher to help kids test well. I became a teacher so that I could communicate value to the students who have been told their whole lives that they are stupid or worthless or unlovable. I became a teacher so that I could care for the kids who don't get cared for by anyone else. I became a teacher so that I could make sure that these kids hear at least one nice thing about themselves a day.
I share this because I feel so stressed that I'm jittery. I know why I am doing what I'm doing but sometimes I just need to write it down or share it with someone else so that I can stop feeling inadequate. So thanks for stepping into my classroom for a few minutes and rallying with me. We all need a little support to be able to do the things that really matter in life.
When I drive to work in the morning and I feel hopelessly unprepared, I remind myself to choose love. It may seem silly and a little bit cliche, but the reality is that sometimes I teach good Science, sometimes I teach mediocre Science, and most of the time I have no idea how I made it from 7:40 - 2:35. That's okay because school is about more than academic intervention; it's about modeling good character and communicating worth to these kids.
Today a little boy asked me if he could go home with me. Why? Because he knows that I love him.
Today another little boy got out of his chair over 10 times during my 50 minute class period to give me a hug. Why? Because he knows that I love him.
I may not have the right tools to teach Science in a way that is going to raise test scores, but I didn't become a teacher to help kids test well. I became a teacher so that I could communicate value to the students who have been told their whole lives that they are stupid or worthless or unlovable. I became a teacher so that I could care for the kids who don't get cared for by anyone else. I became a teacher so that I could make sure that these kids hear at least one nice thing about themselves a day.
I share this because I feel so stressed that I'm jittery. I know why I am doing what I'm doing but sometimes I just need to write it down or share it with someone else so that I can stop feeling inadequate. So thanks for stepping into my classroom for a few minutes and rallying with me. We all need a little support to be able to do the things that really matter in life.
Sunday, October 10, 2010
The silver lining
There are countless phrases which offer hope and purpose for the struggles that surround our lives. While idioms such as "every cloud has a silver lining" can be comforting at times, I think many people struggle to find the silver lining before the storm hits and washes it away. So, because it is Sunday afternoon and another work week is knocking at my door, I wanted to uncover some of my silver lining:
Since starting my teaching career at the beginning of September, my days have been bracketed by a constant struggle to learn and teach Science. I remember learning about the weather as part of Physical Science in 8th grade and hating every second of trying to learn the names of the different clouds. When I was at a Science training on Tuesday, some guy flippantly referenced the different types of clouds like they were common knowledge. My eyes burned with un-shed tears as I sat in my chair and realized that people who teach Science are the people who understood it the first time around. Not only did I not understand Science when I was in elementary school, more often then not I find myself disliking the subject more and more.
The reality is that I hate Science because I don't understand it. I don't care of its "just" elementary science, I have yet to uncover a topic that I didn't have to spend a ton of time researching in order to teach it. Contrary to the common belief that I was going to realize how much Science I already knew, this has not yet happened.
However, as I was explaining to one of my friends that I feel silly and helpless handling a subject that I was never trained it, I realized that because I'm not trained in it I have a natural filter with which to determine what the kids will or will not understand. You see, most subjects build on themselves as you progress through school but because I don't know what was taught in the past, I really can't assume my students have any kind of prior background knowledge at all. Even though I am having a hard time learning Science day in and day out, I am confident that I am not teaching concepts that are above my students heads. If I don't understand it, they won't either. And that, my friends, is my silver lining.
Since starting my teaching career at the beginning of September, my days have been bracketed by a constant struggle to learn and teach Science. I remember learning about the weather as part of Physical Science in 8th grade and hating every second of trying to learn the names of the different clouds. When I was at a Science training on Tuesday, some guy flippantly referenced the different types of clouds like they were common knowledge. My eyes burned with un-shed tears as I sat in my chair and realized that people who teach Science are the people who understood it the first time around. Not only did I not understand Science when I was in elementary school, more often then not I find myself disliking the subject more and more.
The reality is that I hate Science because I don't understand it. I don't care of its "just" elementary science, I have yet to uncover a topic that I didn't have to spend a ton of time researching in order to teach it. Contrary to the common belief that I was going to realize how much Science I already knew, this has not yet happened.
However, as I was explaining to one of my friends that I feel silly and helpless handling a subject that I was never trained it, I realized that because I'm not trained in it I have a natural filter with which to determine what the kids will or will not understand. You see, most subjects build on themselves as you progress through school but because I don't know what was taught in the past, I really can't assume my students have any kind of prior background knowledge at all. Even though I am having a hard time learning Science day in and day out, I am confident that I am not teaching concepts that are above my students heads. If I don't understand it, they won't either. And that, my friends, is my silver lining.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
Bigger, brighter, faster
As you may have noticed, within the last couple of months my posts have shifted from updates about running miles to updates about running a classroom. Each form of running requires stamina, patience, commitment and a certain level of skill. Although, one is clearly better for my health than the other :).
The shift of "topics" was unintentional on my part, especially because I strive to be the kind of blogger who writes about a wide spectrum of things. I have learned that my best writing comes from where ever my best energy is going. Right now my best energy is going towards teaching. Actually its hard to imagine my energy being spent anywhere else but I guess we can all stay tuned to find out.
Anyway. . . the point of this post is really to annouce that I am writing you from my classroom for the first time ever! You see, the computer that was handed down to me from the previous Science teacher had its fair share of issues, so I requested a different one. Assuming that the tech department was going to rustle up a computer with less issues from a storage closet somewhere, I was shocked when my boss sent me an email letting me know that she had purchased me a new iMac. I wasn't sure how this new computer would change my classroom experience until it arrived today. You see. there is a large divide that stands between Mac users and PC users and I happen to stand on the PC side of the divide. I have been questioning the amount of energy I have to actually take steps towards bridging the divide, but today I have my answer.
This computer is incredible. It's bigger, the screen is brighter and it's light years faster than the other one. I am breathing so much easier knowing that I will be able to do the paperwork/research/email side of my job with a lot more efficiency.
It was good news, so I had to share it.
The shift of "topics" was unintentional on my part, especially because I strive to be the kind of blogger who writes about a wide spectrum of things. I have learned that my best writing comes from where ever my best energy is going. Right now my best energy is going towards teaching. Actually its hard to imagine my energy being spent anywhere else but I guess we can all stay tuned to find out.
Anyway. . . the point of this post is really to annouce that I am writing you from my classroom for the first time ever! You see, the computer that was handed down to me from the previous Science teacher had its fair share of issues, so I requested a different one. Assuming that the tech department was going to rustle up a computer with less issues from a storage closet somewhere, I was shocked when my boss sent me an email letting me know that she had purchased me a new iMac. I wasn't sure how this new computer would change my classroom experience until it arrived today. You see. there is a large divide that stands between Mac users and PC users and I happen to stand on the PC side of the divide. I have been questioning the amount of energy I have to actually take steps towards bridging the divide, but today I have my answer.
This computer is incredible. It's bigger, the screen is brighter and it's light years faster than the other one. I am breathing so much easier knowing that I will be able to do the paperwork/research/email side of my job with a lot more efficiency.
It was good news, so I had to share it.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Endless grace
If it wasn't quickly approaching 10pm, I would take the time to fill you in on how things are going. But alas, my bedtime is quickly approaching so you'll have to settle for a quick update:
My week got off to a rough start, largely due to a weekend bracketed by stress. I'm still praying a lot about what my "free" time should look like, especially since I exert the vast majority of my extroverted energy at my job. By Friday the only thing I want to do is put on my sweatpants and crawl into my room. I'm not watching tv, I'm not talking on the phone, I'm not even reading books or knitting. I'm just sitting. The activity of the week takes its toll and everything in my needs to be still. While reading the details of how I am currently handling my weekends, please bear in mind that I am still in the thick of a major life transition and I have a lot to juggle. The stillness may be merited, at least for now but it's hard to be still and to be actively investing in my friendships.
I know that I need people in my life but I have been struggling with how to include them while still allowing myself rest. When I do make plans, I end up canceling them or falling off the radar in an attempt to throw myself a life-line and recoup some of the resources I expended over the course of the week. Last weekend in particular I was sick, so I had to cancel all of my plans so that I could sleep (seriously, I slept for over 30 hours. Insane.) but because I had the stomach flu the weekend before, my "no I can't hang out with you, I'm sick" explanation was not very well received. Hence, the stress. Today when I was navigating downtown Saint Paul traffic, this song came on the radio reminding me that the grace that I desperately crave in my life can only be found in Jesus.
So tonight I am crawling into bed wrapped in the promise that I serve God who is bigger than my exhaustion. He is purposeful in all things and never hesitates to wrap me in endless grace.
My week got off to a rough start, largely due to a weekend bracketed by stress. I'm still praying a lot about what my "free" time should look like, especially since I exert the vast majority of my extroverted energy at my job. By Friday the only thing I want to do is put on my sweatpants and crawl into my room. I'm not watching tv, I'm not talking on the phone, I'm not even reading books or knitting. I'm just sitting. The activity of the week takes its toll and everything in my needs to be still. While reading the details of how I am currently handling my weekends, please bear in mind that I am still in the thick of a major life transition and I have a lot to juggle. The stillness may be merited, at least for now but it's hard to be still and to be actively investing in my friendships.
I know that I need people in my life but I have been struggling with how to include them while still allowing myself rest. When I do make plans, I end up canceling them or falling off the radar in an attempt to throw myself a life-line and recoup some of the resources I expended over the course of the week. Last weekend in particular I was sick, so I had to cancel all of my plans so that I could sleep (seriously, I slept for over 30 hours. Insane.) but because I had the stomach flu the weekend before, my "no I can't hang out with you, I'm sick" explanation was not very well received. Hence, the stress. Today when I was navigating downtown Saint Paul traffic, this song came on the radio reminding me that the grace that I desperately crave in my life can only be found in Jesus.
So tonight I am crawling into bed wrapped in the promise that I serve God who is bigger than my exhaustion. He is purposeful in all things and never hesitates to wrap me in endless grace.
Saturday, October 2, 2010
some sweet yeast
There are always obstacles that stand in the way of doing something you really enjoy, aren't there? Lately, warm weather, exhaustion, illness and a busy schedule have kept me from spending the kind of time I want in my kitchen. Cooking is grounding for me because it meets a need and provides an outlet for my creative juices to flow free. As someone who functions best in the context of concrete goals, I am never without at least one cooking goal. This fall I decided to learn how to bake with active dry yeast. Since my cooking goal remained untouched, my recent kitchen sabbatical needed to come to an end.
Even though I am still very much under the weather, I spent some time making these today. I substituted skim milk for whole milk and vegetable oil for canola oil but the result was still a gooey sweet treat on a crisp fall day. I recommend giving them a whirl!
Even though I am still very much under the weather, I spent some time making these today. I substituted skim milk for whole milk and vegetable oil for canola oil but the result was still a gooey sweet treat on a crisp fall day. I recommend giving them a whirl!
Thursday, September 30, 2010
Once upon a trip to Philadelphia
One of my most vivid memories of the trip is sitting alone on a packed Delta airplane, with a row all to myself and my journal out. After having spent the week prior to my flight being introduced to my new role as a special education science teacher, I had a lot on my mind. I can still feel my body relaxing when I realized that the cabin doors had been closed and the possibility of a stranger sitting beside me had been eliminated. I remember smiling to myself and offering a prayer of thankfulness to the Lord for giving me the chance to rest despite the unrest in my schedule. With my favorite purple pen in hand, this is what I wrote:
I just lived through my very first week at my very first job post-college & grad school! All 6 years of my University career were for the purpose of being able to do exactly what I am doing now. Even without any direct contact with my students, I am already starting to see a bigger picture of how purposeful the Lord has been with all of this.
Having spent 2 semesters at my school prior to being employed is nothing short of an irreplaceable gift. In addition to knowing where the bathroom, teachers lounge and stairways are, I have these amazing relationships already built. It's not hard to see the abundant blessing and prosperity in the way God designed the establishment of my career, but until this week I honestly didn't recognize how faithfully God orchestrated these details on my behalf.
People know me, they like me and they trust my ability to teach. My transition from learner to teacher has been a welcomed one. Only a few years ago I was desperatly trying to get into a Speech-Language Pathology program, totally unaware of how much my communication styles, interpersonal strengths and professional goals align with the public school system. I have the opportunity to be friendly, open, affirming and grounded every time I rub shoulders with someone in the bathroom or wait in line for the copy machine. I get to affirm my co-workers skills and experience simply by asking about their day, week or teaching career. I get to share and establish respect by choosing to be positive and by acknowledging other people in the process.
I didn't go into teaching to develop a strong cohort of fellow teachers, I went into it for the opportunity to love a kid that maybe no one else would. I became a teacher because I beleive that for many kids, learning is too painful to do unless someone is there to gently lead them through the pain. I love kids who are naughty because I get to model different forms of behavior and look for the real reason for the behaviors. I love kids who don't know how to learn because it means that I have the potential to unlock learning in a new accessible and relevant way. I love kids who know how to learn but hate doing it because it's really, really hard. I am that kid.
All week long I have been told by various teachers that they are glad I am here. I have also been warned that their kids are really hard. I'm glad I'm here too and I'm glad there kids are hard. This job is worth doing, which makes it worthy of the 6 years of challenging learning I fought through to get here.
The school year ahead of me is undeniably tough, but let the record show that I am so grateful to be where I am.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
everyone needs a little time to do the dishes!
I am in the thick of my third week as a teacher, doing my best to prioritize the my many to-do's as I pile everything else on the back burner for now. One thing I know for sure: I am not infinite. I get tired. I miss a lot of phone calls. I crave downtime. I need sleep. Most importantly: I need balance. Yesterday, balance was washing my dishes and crawling into bed at 8:30pm. Today, balance was going home before formulating any lesson plans for tomorrow and throwing on some sweatpants while eating mozzarella sticks for dinner.
Each day holds new challenges of its own, but each day also gives me the opportunity to step deeper into the profession I have been training to do for so long. Today while washing the remnants of play-dough, soil and beans off of my tables, the chaos of my job was temporarily stabilized as I realized that I am actually a teacher.
I spend a lot of time lesson planning and learning Science, but my true teacher moments happen when I get to stand in the gap in unplanned ways. Sometimes those moments involve the ability to respond in kindness to a warning, like when an aid pops his head into my classroom seconds before the bell rings to lets me know that one of the students lost his play-dough and would really like to make it again. "He's actually really mad and agitated about it, so. . .I don't know what you have planned but I just thought I should give you a heads up." No problem. I will never forget the grateful hug I got from the student when I announced we were making play-dough again or the looks of relief from the aids when they realized that the play-dough saga had been put to rest. Sometimes those moments are the result of an on-going conversation with a student, like when one student asks Sam the Scientist to 'say ahhh' everyday and then comments in surprise on how he "still doesn't have a tongue." This morning this student told me, "tomorrow Sam the Scientist will have a tongue". When I curiously asked him how that was possible, he explained "I am going to make him one!" Imagine my surprise when my very last class was interrupted by a little boy with a determined smile on his face, a paper tongue and tape in hand. After taping the tongue inside Sam's mouth he left the room with satisfied smile with one final instruction for Sam to 'say ahhh'.
Other true teacher moments come from being able to extend grace and kindness to my co-workers. I really believe that we were created to respond to those who love us first, therefore, I pray for moments to choose love on behalf of someone else. So here I am, the 23 year old new teacher, being intentionally kind to the veteran staff that fill the school, not because I need any more friends, but because everyones day gets a little better when kind words are shared. By choosing to be kind, I am also choosing to steer conversation away from gossip and politics. I am not naive enough to think that I can always navigate conversation away from such topics, but I do know that genuine kindness builds genuine trust and when genuine trust is present, there is less of a need to pick teams by gossiping.
So my mantra remains: one day at a time, but as I tackle things one day at a time I doing my best to make time to wash my dishes.
Each day holds new challenges of its own, but each day also gives me the opportunity to step deeper into the profession I have been training to do for so long. Today while washing the remnants of play-dough, soil and beans off of my tables, the chaos of my job was temporarily stabilized as I realized that I am actually a teacher.
I spend a lot of time lesson planning and learning Science, but my true teacher moments happen when I get to stand in the gap in unplanned ways. Sometimes those moments involve the ability to respond in kindness to a warning, like when an aid pops his head into my classroom seconds before the bell rings to lets me know that one of the students lost his play-dough and would really like to make it again. "He's actually really mad and agitated about it, so. . .I don't know what you have planned but I just thought I should give you a heads up." No problem. I will never forget the grateful hug I got from the student when I announced we were making play-dough again or the looks of relief from the aids when they realized that the play-dough saga had been put to rest. Sometimes those moments are the result of an on-going conversation with a student, like when one student asks Sam the Scientist to 'say ahhh' everyday and then comments in surprise on how he "still doesn't have a tongue." This morning this student told me, "tomorrow Sam the Scientist will have a tongue". When I curiously asked him how that was possible, he explained "I am going to make him one!" Imagine my surprise when my very last class was interrupted by a little boy with a determined smile on his face, a paper tongue and tape in hand. After taping the tongue inside Sam's mouth he left the room with satisfied smile with one final instruction for Sam to 'say ahhh'.
Other true teacher moments come from being able to extend grace and kindness to my co-workers. I really believe that we were created to respond to those who love us first, therefore, I pray for moments to choose love on behalf of someone else. So here I am, the 23 year old new teacher, being intentionally kind to the veteran staff that fill the school, not because I need any more friends, but because everyones day gets a little better when kind words are shared. By choosing to be kind, I am also choosing to steer conversation away from gossip and politics. I am not naive enough to think that I can always navigate conversation away from such topics, but I do know that genuine kindness builds genuine trust and when genuine trust is present, there is less of a need to pick teams by gossiping.
So my mantra remains: one day at a time, but as I tackle things one day at a time I doing my best to make time to wash my dishes.
Sunday, September 19, 2010
Friday, September 17, 2010
9 days and counting
I am not sure why Friday nights are such a popular night for parties, social gatherings and grandiose plans because I don't know about you, but by the time Friday rolls around, I've got one thing on my mind: bed. I know that there has been research done saying that if you want to sleep good at night, you shouldn't use your bed for anything other than sleeping. The research might be true for some people but to me, my bed is the relaxing in the same way most authors describe the sacredness of a bubble bath. So here I sit in my favorite sweatpants, surrounded by blankets and pillows, and listening to the chatter of my roommate and her friends coming from the living room. I've been waiting for this moment all week. With the arrival of the Kindergartners this past Monday, my job quickly turned from challenging to daunting and without the immediacy of another school day awaiting me in the morning, I am finally able to unstrap the stress and anxiety I have been carrying around since Monday and leave it at the door.
That being said, here are some things I have learned through the process of becoming a 9 day old teacher:
1. nothing is sacred! If it is in your classroom, it will be touched and probably broken so don't bring in things you really care about!
2.kids love Science equipment. Who knew safety goggles would be such an effective way to turn my students into active and engaged Scientists?!
3.Classroom "design" aka - the way you set things up, totally matters! I learned that in order to keep my students from using my sink and creating a huge water mess, I need to have a basin of soapy water accessible at all times. If crayons are in plain sight, they will be spilled and/or used to color things that should not be colored. By moving my supply table from behind the students, to the front of the room, I am much more able to keep my students engaged, especially when teaching something that requires a lot of supplies and I am a lot calmer throughout my delivery (I also sweat less. . . well. . . not really, I sweat a lot).
4. There is something really rewarding about learning how to speak the "language" of all of my different classes.
5. One of the best and most important parts of why I am a teacher is passing students in the hallway and being able to greet them by name. Students have a need to be known and cared for, just like adults do!
6. I need to start collecting egg cartons, newspaper and old sour cream containers. The egg cartons can be containers (like for rock collections) and/or art supplies. The newspaper is not something I tried yet because I don't have any but I think that if I were to put newspaper on my tables either at the beginning of the day or the beginning of each class I would significantly reduce the time I spend scrubbing gunk off my tables at the end of every day. I want sour cream containers to put my crayons in so that I can grab however many containers I need for the specific class I am teaching without having to scramble to divide up the crayons and then scramble to clean them all up later. My current system makes me sweat a ton.
7. Teaching on such a tight schedule leaves me really dehydrated. I still haven't figured out how to remedy that.
8, In Science, containers are like gold and are used for everything. In 2 weeks I have almost completely depleted the supply of plastic cups that my room was stocked with because doing Science in a hands on way requires lots of containers!
9. My lunch is at 10am, which is ridiculous to most people but I realized earlier this week that 10am has been a favorite meal time of mine for a long time! So, even though it looks like I got the shaft, I don't have to eat with anyone else which gives me 15 minutes of necessary solitude and I get to maintain a favorite mealtime of mine. ( I didn't actually eat lunch Tuesday - Friday of this week because my lunch is right before my Kindergartners come and I needed the time to child-proof my room. But, I am going to bask in the glory of my 10am mealtime every time I have some downtime to enjoy my lunch).
10. Kids love live things! Bring monarch caterpillars into the classroom made "Ms. Nolte's Science Room" a very popular place this week.
11. It's important to love what you're doing, and who you are doing it for, even when you hate it (and them).
That being said, here are some things I have learned through the process of becoming a 9 day old teacher:
1. nothing is sacred! If it is in your classroom, it will be touched and probably broken so don't bring in things you really care about!
2.kids love Science equipment. Who knew safety goggles would be such an effective way to turn my students into active and engaged Scientists?!
3.Classroom "design" aka - the way you set things up, totally matters! I learned that in order to keep my students from using my sink and creating a huge water mess, I need to have a basin of soapy water accessible at all times. If crayons are in plain sight, they will be spilled and/or used to color things that should not be colored. By moving my supply table from behind the students, to the front of the room, I am much more able to keep my students engaged, especially when teaching something that requires a lot of supplies and I am a lot calmer throughout my delivery (I also sweat less. . . well. . . not really, I sweat a lot).
4. There is something really rewarding about learning how to speak the "language" of all of my different classes.
5. One of the best and most important parts of why I am a teacher is passing students in the hallway and being able to greet them by name. Students have a need to be known and cared for, just like adults do!
6. I need to start collecting egg cartons, newspaper and old sour cream containers. The egg cartons can be containers (like for rock collections) and/or art supplies. The newspaper is not something I tried yet because I don't have any but I think that if I were to put newspaper on my tables either at the beginning of the day or the beginning of each class I would significantly reduce the time I spend scrubbing gunk off my tables at the end of every day. I want sour cream containers to put my crayons in so that I can grab however many containers I need for the specific class I am teaching without having to scramble to divide up the crayons and then scramble to clean them all up later. My current system makes me sweat a ton.
7. Teaching on such a tight schedule leaves me really dehydrated. I still haven't figured out how to remedy that.
8, In Science, containers are like gold and are used for everything. In 2 weeks I have almost completely depleted the supply of plastic cups that my room was stocked with because doing Science in a hands on way requires lots of containers!
9. My lunch is at 10am, which is ridiculous to most people but I realized earlier this week that 10am has been a favorite meal time of mine for a long time! So, even though it looks like I got the shaft, I don't have to eat with anyone else which gives me 15 minutes of necessary solitude and I get to maintain a favorite mealtime of mine. ( I didn't actually eat lunch Tuesday - Friday of this week because my lunch is right before my Kindergartners come and I needed the time to child-proof my room. But, I am going to bask in the glory of my 10am mealtime every time I have some downtime to enjoy my lunch).
10. Kids love live things! Bring monarch caterpillars into the classroom made "Ms. Nolte's Science Room" a very popular place this week.
11. It's important to love what you're doing, and who you are doing it for, even when you hate it (and them).
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Quick update!
I am 2 days into my first week as a teacher, with 2 more to go. The first day went well, but yesterday went even better. I have been quick to build rapport with my students and they have been quick to learn the routine and expectations of my classroom. My favorite class so far is the one I was most worried about. They are a group of DCD students who are nonverbal. Even though they can't talk, I haven't had a problem understanding them or keeping them engaged. Yesterday I gave them hand held magnifying glasses so that we could go outside and investigate rocks. They held those glasses like real Scientists and hunted for rocks with great enthusiasm for 50 minutes! They were giggling and squealing and they we so proud to show me all of the rocks they found. The aids that come with them have been really kind to me and keep saying things like "thank you Ms. Nolte for teaching us real Science." I know that I am going to have to work really hard to make sure that I have activities that are at their level and keep them engaged. It's going to be a huge year of learning for me!
Despite being so tired I could fall over after a day full of constant motion and lots of adapted instruction (no two classes are the same!), I have actually been really busy after school.
Over Labor day weekend, I went to Philadelphia, PA to visit my good friend Britt. I was reluctant to be out of town before such an important week for me, but now I am really thankful that I booked my plane tickets and went. It's so important to make time to invest in the people you love!
To further my friend investment, I went to see the show Wicked on Tuesday night. It was clearly really important to my friends that I was there so I am thankful that even though I was exhausted, I was able to spend some time with them.
Last night I went over to a fellow Science friends house to watch some instructional videos related to the curriculum we teach from. It was good to connect with him and hear about how he has been teaching some stuff. I told him that I was going to steal all of his ideas and adapt them in a way that Sam the Scientist could teach. He just laughed and said that he could never pull off a "Sam".
Keep praying for me. There are many hard aspects of my job, but there are so many rewarding moments throughout the day. I love how big these kids smile and I love how much they enjoy exploring. My classroom has been destroyed by a few kids each day "look Ms.Nolte, I used these tools to fill this up with water!" "Oh. . . good investigating, please go back to your seat!" I'm not really attached to anything in my room yet so I haven't been sad or bothered by this just yet. We're all learning the ropes together :)
Despite being so tired I could fall over after a day full of constant motion and lots of adapted instruction (no two classes are the same!), I have actually been really busy after school.
To further my friend investment, I went to see the show Wicked on Tuesday night. It was clearly really important to my friends that I was there so I am thankful that even though I was exhausted, I was able to spend some time with them.
Last night I went over to a fellow Science friends house to watch some instructional videos related to the curriculum we teach from. It was good to connect with him and hear about how he has been teaching some stuff. I told him that I was going to steal all of his ideas and adapt them in a way that Sam the Scientist could teach. He just laughed and said that he could never pull off a "Sam".
Keep praying for me. There are many hard aspects of my job, but there are so many rewarding moments throughout the day. I love how big these kids smile and I love how much they enjoy exploring. My classroom has been destroyed by a few kids each day "look Ms.Nolte, I used these tools to fill this up with water!" "Oh. . . good investigating, please go back to your seat!" I'm not really attached to anything in my room yet so I haven't been sad or bothered by this just yet. We're all learning the ropes together :)
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Plans, hopes and teaching goals
As mentioned before, I have sat through full days of information driven meetings, sessions and seminars the last couple of days for my job. While it is obvious that the material is meant for the veteran, not the newbie, I have a couple of take-aways that I have helped me jump start my planning for this school year:
- Take lots of notes of things that relied heavily on prior knowledge/previous involvement in the district so that I can invite new teachers to have lunch with me next year and fill them in on everything I wish someone would have explained to me this week. I would love to be an honorary mentor to new teachers someday. I think it's really important to stand in the gap for other people whenever possible.
- Use puppets! I was laying in bed this morning thinking about how to teach my NUMEROUS special ed kindergarten classes in a way that would effectively keep their attention. I have really nice puppets from my days with Child Evangelism Fellowship and I think I am going to name one of them "Sam the Scientist". Sam can help me highlight all of the things I really need my students to pay attention to. I think deciding when to use him will help me focus my lessons and hopefully keep my students engaged.
- 3 weeks of classroom management = 33 weeks of effective teaching. One of the seminars I went to explained that it usually takes 3 weeks of diligent classroom management to establish a positive learning environment for the rest of the year. I am keeping that number in mind as I battle my way through the first month of school.
- Make a seating chart. I have been having a really hard time deciding how to set up my classroom, especially because there is junk everywhere. I spent 2 hours taking inventory the other day and only did one corner of the room! I think that if I make a seating chart for each of my classes it will help me figure out which area of the room I want to teach my different classes in. With such a rapid turn-over of classes all day long I know that I am going to need a solid understanding of how to utilize my teaching space.
- Write detailed lesson plans for the first week (yikes!). Because this is my first year teaching, I need to turn in all of my lesson plans to a designated supervisor every Monday morning. I think this is great accountability, especially because I have too many students to not have a solid plan in place. I've had a hard time working through the Science material to pull together lessons but I'm sure I'll get the hang of it eventually. Oh science!
- Figure out what kind of rules and policies I want to enforce in my classroom. Thoughts/suggestions?!
- Make a bulletin board. Originally I was going to make one about science but since I don't know a whole lot about science just yet, I think I am going to make one to introduce me. One teacher told me that her students will ask me things like "do you have a cat?" "do you have a boyfriend?" "why not?" I think being willing to share my life with my students will make me more approachable and hopefully build enough rapport right off the bat to quickly establish good respect and listening. I just have to decide what I think they should know!
- Even though I have a packed schedule, I hope to make time to greet students at the door when they come and then say goodbye to them at the door when they leave. I think this is important because there will be times when my students need to know that I like them, even if I didn't like their decisions or behavior.
- Figure out a record keeping system. This one. . . well. . .it's going to take a lot of brainstorming to make it effective, manageable and useful!
- Start a substitute teacher box. Long days, stress and well, everything that has encompassed the last few weeks has left me on the brink of getting sick. I know that because I am having a hard time figuring out my job, there is no way a substitute teacher will be able to walk into my classroom and teach without some practical resources and instructions. Knowing that I will NOT be writing sub plans while I am throwing up in my bathroom, I need to proactively build a box of materials in case of personal emergencies.
- Take a deep-breath and enjoy the learning process. I have worked really hard to get here and I cannot let a mountain of unknown information or the hugeness of the task at hand prevent me from loving teaching. There will be ups and downs but I am doing this because I believe that every student deserves to have someone in their day who is committed to believing the best in them, smiles at them instead of frowns and supports the weak areas. The reality is that we all have weak areas and it hurts when people poke at them. Students who are in special ed get there weak areas poked at all day everyday. No wonder they resist learning!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
it's been a whirlwind!
Life has been a whirlwind lately! I'm not actually sure how to describe what has transpired over the last couple of weeks because it's been such a blur. So - I decided that rather than recount all of the details of my ever-changing life, I will highlight some small victories of the last week:
- I have faithfully been achieving my goal of using coupons. Today I saved $13.33! I quickly realized that although all coupons have the potential to save you money, not all manufacture coupons can be doubled. So, on shopping days like today when the store is willing to double up to 10 of my manufacture coupons, I have to read the coupons close enough to make sure that I can maximize my savings. I really love grocery shopping and having the time to clip coupons and plan my menu accordingly has been really rewarding!
- I have a Minnesota drivers license! I mean, it hasn't actually come in the mail yet but I paid the money, took the test, passed the test and presented an obscene amount of very specific forms of identification so that I could become a licensed Minnesota driver + resident. Even though I have been living on my own via renting my an apartment for 3 years now, it's still weird to not have a Wisconsin license to represent my state of origin.
- I registered my car here and changed the license plates myself (you should be really impressed because it was not easy). Now that I have Minnesota plates on my car, people follow me closer than they use to AND it's been really hard for me to find my car in parking lots. I guess this is the price of being registered to drive in the state you live in!
- I purchased my very own car insurance! It was a surprisingly elaborate process to get quotes and make an informed decision about where to pay for my coverage but in the end, I am confident and comfortable in the choice I made.
- I am a working woman! I still have stuff to work out with my teaching license so I don't know when I'll be starting with my kids (hopefully right after labor day, but only time will tell) but Friday, Monday, Tuesday and Today were all district meetings, building meetings, cohort meetings and lots of trainings. I have been hard at work assimilating to my new surroundings and role.
Saturday, August 28, 2010
Cooking with Coriander
One of the best pieces of advice I was given in my Master's program is to make time every day to do something creative that I love. You might be echoing similar thoughts to my own when I first heard the advice, easier said than done!, but since balance is a coveted life skill, I thought I would try to put that wisdom into action. I have lots of "creative" hobbies but many of them require large amounts of time and supplies, making them challenging to do when time is limited. So, when I don't have time to scrapbook or lay on my couch with a knitting project, I cook. It serves a need and gives me an outlet to explore new things.
Recently I was reading a food blog (nerdy, I know) and stumbled upon a recipe that contained some of my favorite ingredients in a way that I hadn't tried yet. I knew right away that if I had seen this recipe on a menu at a restaurant, I would have ordered it so I decided to add it to the top of my "must cook" list.
After a particularly long Monday, I actually ended up making this recipe at 9pm. Although 9pm is not a standard dinner hour, this recipe was worth bending the rules for.
Rice: Cook the rice according to package directions until tender. Drain, then fluff with a fork and let it rest with the lid closed while you make the rest of the fillings.
Mashed Potatoes: Boil the sweet potatoes until very tender, then mash or whip with the butter. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Black Beans: In a bowl, mix the beans with the lemon juice and seasonings. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium-low heat. Cook the onions, garlic and green chili pepper about 2-3 minutes until soft. Add the bean mixture and warm through.
Burrito assembly: Layer the warm ingredients down the center of each tortilla in this order: cheese, rice, beans, sweet potatoes. Fold the tortilla at the top and bottom of the filling in, rotate and roll the burrito up so that all the ends are closed. Place it on the baking tray seam side down. Brush with vegetable oik and place under the broiler until crispy and golden brown on top. Serve with sour cream mixed with 1 teaspoon of ground coriander or chopped fresh cilantro.
Recently I was reading a food blog (nerdy, I know) and stumbled upon a recipe that contained some of my favorite ingredients in a way that I hadn't tried yet. I knew right away that if I had seen this recipe on a menu at a restaurant, I would have ordered it so I decided to add it to the top of my "must cook" list.
After a particularly long Monday, I actually ended up making this recipe at 9pm. Although 9pm is not a standard dinner hour, this recipe was worth bending the rules for.
Baked Sweet Potato and Black Bean Burritos
For the rice:- 1/3 cup brown rice, uncooked
- Vegetable broth or water (to boil rice)
- 1 large sweet potato, peeled and cut into 1inch pieces
- 2 tablespoons butter or margarine
- salt and pepper to taste
- 1 can black beans, drained and rinsed (15 ounce can)
- 3 teaspoons lemon juice, fresh or bottled
- 1 teaspoon ground coriander
- 1 teaspoon ground cumin
- 1 teaspoon chili powder
- 3 dashes cayenne pepper
- 1 pinch salt and pepper to taste
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- 1 whole medium yellow onion, diced
- 2 cloves garlic, minced
- 1 whole green chili, de-seeded and minced
- 4 whole large burrito size flour tortillas
- 1 cup grated Monterey Jack cheese
- 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
- chopped cilantro (optional)
- sour cream (optional)
Rice: Cook the rice according to package directions until tender. Drain, then fluff with a fork and let it rest with the lid closed while you make the rest of the fillings.
Mashed Potatoes: Boil the sweet potatoes until very tender, then mash or whip with the butter. Season with salt and pepper to taste.
Black Beans: In a bowl, mix the beans with the lemon juice and seasonings. Heat the oil in a skillet over medium-low heat. Cook the onions, garlic and green chili pepper about 2-3 minutes until soft. Add the bean mixture and warm through.
Burrito assembly: Layer the warm ingredients down the center of each tortilla in this order: cheese, rice, beans, sweet potatoes. Fold the tortilla at the top and bottom of the filling in, rotate and roll the burrito up so that all the ends are closed. Place it on the baking tray seam side down. Brush with vegetable oik and place under the broiler until crispy and golden brown on top. Serve with sour cream mixed with 1 teaspoon of ground coriander or chopped fresh cilantro.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
finishing never felt so good!
Sunday morning, I woke up a few minutes before my 5:30am alarm full of nerves and jittery with disbelief and excitement. 5 months of training accompanied by plenty of blisters, lots of sweat and even more early mornings had lead me to that very moment. Even though my 10K race was full of unwanted lessons, I had learned enough to know that setting all of my gear out the night before would make a huge difference. Sleepy-eyed and still a little overwhelmed, I snuggled into my running pants, pulled my hair back and laced up my shoes. I left my apartment with the realization that my training was over and the event I had been anticipating for so long was about to be in motion. Yikes!
I gave my camera to my roommate, who won the award for "best roommate of the year" simply by being willing to support me during my race and take lots of pictures with my camera along the way. Because I gave Jessica my camera the night before, I don't have any pre-race photos. She did get some pretty good shots though!
The best part of my day was post-race, when I logged onto my University of Minnesota account and saw that I had passed my final graduate class with a solid A (only 1 point off in the entire class!). I cried I was so relieved to know that I was done and that the Lord had allowed me to exit well. It was a good day for powerful finishes.
As more pictures of the day surface, I will be sure to fill you in on some of the profound things I learned about myself and the Lord through this process (both finishing grad school and running a half-marathon). I am still in the process of obtaining my teaching license and I realized during my race that I will probably feel the same sort of overwhelming gratitude on my first day as a teacher that I did running this race and seeing my final grade.
It wasn't easy to run this race but I was so thrilled to be doing it because of how hard I had trained. It won't be easy teaching but I know that I will be thrilled to be doing it because of how hard I have trained.
I gave my camera to my roommate, who won the award for "best roommate of the year" simply by being willing to support me during my race and take lots of pictures with my camera along the way. Because I gave Jessica my camera the night before, I don't have any pre-race photos. She did get some pretty good shots though!
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| This was at about mile 3. I am running next to my friend/running partner Amanda. We were reading a sign someone was holding up and giggling about an encounter we had just had with a police officer. You see, it was a VERY hot day and right from the starting line I could tell that 13 miles weren't going to come easily. After noticing the not-so-happy looking police blocking all of the intersections we ran through, I made it my goal to get as many officers as possible to talk to me along the way. One officer in particular greeted me with the most seductive "heeeeyyyyy" I have ever heard after I smiled and waved at him. Amanda and I laughed so hard we almost fell over. |
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| Mile 9. I started noticing people I knew along the way! I had just seen my friend Kelli's family and here I am saying hi to my friend Jason who I co-lead a Bible study with at church. I was really encouraged by the people who showed up to cheer me on! |
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| Getting closer to the end! I think this was in between mile 10 and 11. Amanda decided to race to the end, while I made the decision to finish strong at the pace I had been maintaining. With less than a 5K to go, I was feeling really great about running further than I had ever run before! |
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| So tired but completely determined to finish what I set out to do! |
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| I had 2 goals for this race: 1. run the whole time 2. finish in under 3 hours. I accomplished both. I haven't gone online to look at my official time but I finished around 2:50 because it took a couple of minutes for me to cross the start line when the race began due to the hundreds of people in line ahead of me. |
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| My friend Naomi finished a few minutes after I did. It was really fun to know that I was running among friends. |
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| When I started this journey I never expected to come away with a new friend. I met Amanda on my 7 mile long run and we did every long run together after that. We ran almost 10 miles of this race side-by-side, talking about life and reminding each other about how far we have come to get to this point. At one point in the race Amanda said to me, "we are about an hour away from being half-marathoners". I didn't think it was possible, but I am proud to say that I am a half-marathoner! |
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| Here I am with my good friend Kelli. Kelli, can you even believe how much life we have lived together? 5 years of friendship include finishing our undergraduate degrees together, finishing graduate school together AND running a half-marathon together. I am so thankful that Jesus has allowed us to tackle such large things side-by-side. You are a huge gift to me! |
As more pictures of the day surface, I will be sure to fill you in on some of the profound things I learned about myself and the Lord through this process (both finishing grad school and running a half-marathon). I am still in the process of obtaining my teaching license and I realized during my race that I will probably feel the same sort of overwhelming gratitude on my first day as a teacher that I did running this race and seeing my final grade.
It wasn't easy to run this race but I was so thrilled to be doing it because of how hard I had trained. It won't be easy teaching but I know that I will be thrilled to be doing it because of how hard I have trained.
Saturday, August 21, 2010
the anticipation is building!
Tuesday, August 17, 2010
Tuesday, you are so good to me!
I've been trying to sort out what has been going on lately that has left me drained & spent yet able to take long strides towards the new road ahead of me. I don't have the words or the insight to capture the essence of what events and emotions have surrounded the last week of my life, but one thing is for sure: I am thankful for today.
I went to bed Sunday night overwhelmed with the awareness that this is my last week as a graduate student. More often than not, I doubted that I would ever be able to say that. Certainly I have had many significant "endings" within this two year stretch of my life, but nothing this final. I woke up this morning realizing that I will never pay tuition to the University of Minnesota again. I no longer have to strategically plan when to purchase my text books so that I can buy them all at the same time but still be early enough to get the best used books on the shelf. I don't have to drop $50.00 at Target every few weeks in order to keep my printer inked up and ready to print the large variety of articles, notes and of course, assignments I need for class. Most importantly, I am finally moving to a stage of my life where my income can cover the cost of living. To say this week is significant, would be a huge understatement. The implications of this ending are as far reaching as they are permanent. With one final left to write and one more class to attend, I am starting to let Jesus establish the hope of a new beginning in my life.
Amidst the incredible amount of things I have been working on in order to finish this chapter and start the next one, Jesus has been really faithful. After paying the final dollars on my summer tuition bill I was left a lot poorer than I had originally planned. Just in case you have never been in a place where you have had to count your dollars and shamefully turn down invitations because you are trying to pay your rent next month, I am here to tell you that it is a deeply humbling and taxing situation to be in. The reality is that countless Americans face the same situation I am currently in, but on a much more permanent and severe level. I have a job AND two college degrees. I made it all the way to my final week of graduate school before being in a financial position that was worth actual concern. That in and of itself speaks to the kind of privilege and provision that has supported my journey thus far. I may not be able to pay for a Wicked ticket or buy new running shoes for my race on Saturday, but I'm not hungry and I'm not homeless and I have my very own car. Just this morning I got a text message from one of the families I nanny for asking if I can babysit for over 7 hours on Thursday. Why yes, yes I can! I am also babysitting Friday night & another day next week. When Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow, He meant it. My faith has been stretched and God has reminded me that not only am I not in control, I have no need to be.
I am looking forward to what is ahead while appreciating where I am at today because in both situations, I know that I am not standing alone. How about you?
I went to bed Sunday night overwhelmed with the awareness that this is my last week as a graduate student. More often than not, I doubted that I would ever be able to say that. Certainly I have had many significant "endings" within this two year stretch of my life, but nothing this final. I woke up this morning realizing that I will never pay tuition to the University of Minnesota again. I no longer have to strategically plan when to purchase my text books so that I can buy them all at the same time but still be early enough to get the best used books on the shelf. I don't have to drop $50.00 at Target every few weeks in order to keep my printer inked up and ready to print the large variety of articles, notes and of course, assignments I need for class. Most importantly, I am finally moving to a stage of my life where my income can cover the cost of living. To say this week is significant, would be a huge understatement. The implications of this ending are as far reaching as they are permanent. With one final left to write and one more class to attend, I am starting to let Jesus establish the hope of a new beginning in my life.
Amidst the incredible amount of things I have been working on in order to finish this chapter and start the next one, Jesus has been really faithful. After paying the final dollars on my summer tuition bill I was left a lot poorer than I had originally planned. Just in case you have never been in a place where you have had to count your dollars and shamefully turn down invitations because you are trying to pay your rent next month, I am here to tell you that it is a deeply humbling and taxing situation to be in. The reality is that countless Americans face the same situation I am currently in, but on a much more permanent and severe level. I have a job AND two college degrees. I made it all the way to my final week of graduate school before being in a financial position that was worth actual concern. That in and of itself speaks to the kind of privilege and provision that has supported my journey thus far. I may not be able to pay for a Wicked ticket or buy new running shoes for my race on Saturday, but I'm not hungry and I'm not homeless and I have my very own car. Just this morning I got a text message from one of the families I nanny for asking if I can babysit for over 7 hours on Thursday. Why yes, yes I can! I am also babysitting Friday night & another day next week. When Jesus told us not to worry about tomorrow, He meant it. My faith has been stretched and God has reminded me that not only am I not in control, I have no need to be.
I am looking forward to what is ahead while appreciating where I am at today because in both situations, I know that I am not standing alone. How about you?
Friday, August 13, 2010
productivity never felt so good
Have you ever found yourself needing to just accomplish things? For the last month I have found myself in this constant state of forward motion. My summer to-do list seemed simple enough to begin with:
Looking forward, I can honestly say that I am ready to leave this part of my life behind me. I started realizing early this week that if I didn't start investing a little more time into my masters portfolio then I wasn't going to be in a position to emotionally move past graduate school. I want to carry the benefits of grad school with me as I pursue my career but it's important for me to leave the obligation of my masters program behind. I have been a little bit tearful lately for many reasons, but one of them is the pure shock of actually approaching the end to such a significant part of my life thus far. I will never be able to fully articulate the endurance it has taken to get here, or the provision of the Lord for timing all things according to His will. Even as I type this I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that I am 2 assignments away from being done with all of the coursework in my program. I would have loved to be done with everything in May, but I can't change the way my courses fell into place and I have to believe that God's timing is better than mine.
As for the other things on my to-do list. . . well, let's just say that other than moving, I haven't done a super awesome job of sticking to the list. I read a couple of books for pleasure at the beginning of summer but I've been carrying around textbooks ever since. I started out sleeping great but lately (probably because of all of the loud & long storms) I haven't been sleeping well at all. The rest, I'll have to save for another post!
- write master's portfolio
- train for half marathon
- take final class in masters program
- sleep 8+ hours a night
- move
- read books for pleasure
- apply for a professional teaching license
- become a Minnesota resident
- start career as a special education teacher
Looking forward, I can honestly say that I am ready to leave this part of my life behind me. I started realizing early this week that if I didn't start investing a little more time into my masters portfolio then I wasn't going to be in a position to emotionally move past graduate school. I want to carry the benefits of grad school with me as I pursue my career but it's important for me to leave the obligation of my masters program behind. I have been a little bit tearful lately for many reasons, but one of them is the pure shock of actually approaching the end to such a significant part of my life thus far. I will never be able to fully articulate the endurance it has taken to get here, or the provision of the Lord for timing all things according to His will. Even as I type this I am overwhelmed with the knowledge that I am 2 assignments away from being done with all of the coursework in my program. I would have loved to be done with everything in May, but I can't change the way my courses fell into place and I have to believe that God's timing is better than mine.
As for the other things on my to-do list. . . well, let's just say that other than moving, I haven't done a super awesome job of sticking to the list. I read a couple of books for pleasure at the beginning of summer but I've been carrying around textbooks ever since. I started out sleeping great but lately (probably because of all of the loud & long storms) I haven't been sleeping well at all. The rest, I'll have to save for another post!
Thursday, August 12, 2010
And the rain came down
Yesterday morning (Wed) I woke up determined to go for a run since I hadn't exercised at all Sunday, Monday or Tuesday. After jogging to the end of my parking lot, I was stopped in my tracks by this:
These pictures were taken about 20 minutes after I first stumbled upon my flooded street. With the response team hard at work sucking the water up, these pictures don't even come close to showing the actual depth and span of the water that flooded the street. There was caution tape everywhere. . . so I didn't actually go running (I am starting to doubt my ability to complete the race. 3 weeks of little to no training other than long runs is NOT a good thing). I monitored the caution tape and water levels closely but around lunch time I may or may not have illegally driven out of my driveway to go to class. I mean, by that time, the water was gone but the none of the tape or barricades were. I am sure St.Paul would have understood that I am in the process of finishing up my masters degree and HAD to leave my apartment to attend class. A girls gotta do, what a girls gotta do.
Today I am deeply thankful that I moved to a second floor apartment. Jesus had the timing just right on this one!
Today I am deeply thankful that I moved to a second floor apartment. Jesus had the timing just right on this one!
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Summer tastes so good!
Roasted-Corn Salad
3 cups fresh corn kernels (about 6 ears)
1 tablespoon vegetable oil, divided
Cooking spray
2 tablespoons white balsamic vinegar
1 tablespoon Dijon Mustard
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper
1 cup chopped seeded tomato
1/2 cup chopped red bell pepper
1/2 cup chopped green onions
- Preheat oven to 425 degrees
- Combine corn and 1 teaspoon oil in a jelly-roll pan coated with cooking spray. Bake at 425 degrees for 20 minutes until browned, stirring occasionally.
- Combine 2 teaspoons oil, vinegar, mustard, salt, and black pepper in a medium bowl, add corn mixture, stirring well. Stir in tomato, bell pepper, and onions. Serve warm or at room temperature. Yield: 4 servings (serving 3/4 cup). 154 calories.
Saturday, August 7, 2010
A friend of mine sent me this quote the other day. I just re-read it and was humbled by how actively I pursue control, order and new knowledge in my life. Jesus is bigger than ALL of my planning!
"Our understanding isn't key to the operation of His creation. We can participate in it without being in control or knowing everything there is to know. In fact, we must. Control & omniscience are not options for us. Why does God so frequently put us in our place? Because He has to. We repeatedly grow out of our dependence on Him and try to manage things on our own." -Chris Tiegreen
Strong. Confident. Determined.
This morning I woke up from a blaring alarm clock, at an hour too early to be acquainted with Saturdays, regretting my decision to run a half marathon. I mean, one of my favorite things has been and always will be sleep, so can you blame me?
Only 2 weeks stand between me and the finish line, which means that I am in my 5th month of training! One might think that with so much time invested, I would be jazzed and ready to tackle this race. The reality is that I am itching to transition into the next stage of my life and not devote hours and hours to stretching, hydrating, running, showering, stretching again, re-hydrating and washing load after load of sweaty running gear. I know this to be true because other than my long run this morning, I logged ZERO training days this week. I was supposed to run 5 miles Monday, 3 miles Tuesday, cross-train Wednesday, run 5 miles Thursday and then take a much needed rest day on Friday in preparation for my 9 mile run this morning. I actually had an amazingly productive week, filled with countless tasks and accomplishments.. . but I didn't run. At all.
I went to bed last night with the sinking knowledge that my lack of training would most likely adversely affect my ability to run 9 miles but there is something to be said about having an iron will! On my 30 minute drive to pick up my friend Kelli, I prayed, listened to my favorite cd and reviewed 5 months of running accomplishments. When I started this process, I hadn't exercised for essentially 2 entire years. Despite my "get skinny 2008" crusade, I hadn't worked out consistently since doing Pilates with my sister Anna our junior year of high school. I wasn't a runner, but I started running anyways. In early June, the farthest I could run without stopping was 33 minutes. Sometime between June and today, I have gained enough endurance to run for 2 entire hours! On my drive, I reminded myself that I had the endurance to run 8 miles and therefore could not let myself walk any part of this mornings mileage sooner than the 8 mile mark. I was bound and determined to run the whole time but I had no idea how long it would take me to finish.
Unlike most runners, I didn't do this in high school, I don't love the sport and I have never run fast. It is my experience that most people who call themselves runners, run at least a 10 minute mile. Not so much for this kid. I average about a 12-13 minute mile, which I have no intention of changing because I learned early on in this process that if I pace myself, I can run a lot further than if I don't. I am proud to say that a 12-13 minute mile is a comfortable run for me, and when distances like 9 miles are being tackled, being comfortable is an essential component to success.
So, after mentally re-living my journey, I was feeling strong, confident and determined to run 9 miles no matter what happened. The morning started out cool, then turned humid, then started to rain with the humidity thickening simultaneously. I have learned that when I let the weather stand in my way, it does. So today, I decided that I didn't care how hot or uncomfortable I was. I just kept running. I finished 9 miles in almost exactly 2 hours. I know a lot of people can run a lot further given that same time frame, but for me, it was a personal best.
I am already trying to talk myself into waking up early enough this week to train like I am supposed to be but with life tasks such as finding car insurance, finishing up graduate school, maintaining my friendships, and getting things in order for my job, the challenge is greater than it seems. I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time.
Only 2 weeks stand between me and the finish line, which means that I am in my 5th month of training! One might think that with so much time invested, I would be jazzed and ready to tackle this race. The reality is that I am itching to transition into the next stage of my life and not devote hours and hours to stretching, hydrating, running, showering, stretching again, re-hydrating and washing load after load of sweaty running gear. I know this to be true because other than my long run this morning, I logged ZERO training days this week. I was supposed to run 5 miles Monday, 3 miles Tuesday, cross-train Wednesday, run 5 miles Thursday and then take a much needed rest day on Friday in preparation for my 9 mile run this morning. I actually had an amazingly productive week, filled with countless tasks and accomplishments.. . but I didn't run. At all.
I went to bed last night with the sinking knowledge that my lack of training would most likely adversely affect my ability to run 9 miles but there is something to be said about having an iron will! On my 30 minute drive to pick up my friend Kelli, I prayed, listened to my favorite cd and reviewed 5 months of running accomplishments. When I started this process, I hadn't exercised for essentially 2 entire years. Despite my "get skinny 2008" crusade, I hadn't worked out consistently since doing Pilates with my sister Anna our junior year of high school. I wasn't a runner, but I started running anyways. In early June, the farthest I could run without stopping was 33 minutes. Sometime between June and today, I have gained enough endurance to run for 2 entire hours! On my drive, I reminded myself that I had the endurance to run 8 miles and therefore could not let myself walk any part of this mornings mileage sooner than the 8 mile mark. I was bound and determined to run the whole time but I had no idea how long it would take me to finish.
Unlike most runners, I didn't do this in high school, I don't love the sport and I have never run fast. It is my experience that most people who call themselves runners, run at least a 10 minute mile. Not so much for this kid. I average about a 12-13 minute mile, which I have no intention of changing because I learned early on in this process that if I pace myself, I can run a lot further than if I don't. I am proud to say that a 12-13 minute mile is a comfortable run for me, and when distances like 9 miles are being tackled, being comfortable is an essential component to success.
So, after mentally re-living my journey, I was feeling strong, confident and determined to run 9 miles no matter what happened. The morning started out cool, then turned humid, then started to rain with the humidity thickening simultaneously. I have learned that when I let the weather stand in my way, it does. So today, I decided that I didn't care how hot or uncomfortable I was. I just kept running. I finished 9 miles in almost exactly 2 hours. I know a lot of people can run a lot further given that same time frame, but for me, it was a personal best.
I am already trying to talk myself into waking up early enough this week to train like I am supposed to be but with life tasks such as finding car insurance, finishing up graduate school, maintaining my friendships, and getting things in order for my job, the challenge is greater than it seems. I guess I'll just have to take it one day at a time.
Friday, August 6, 2010
warm, comfortable and oh so inviting!
At last I have taken pictures of my new bedroom! Instead of giving you a tour of my apartment all at once you are going to have to stay tuned for pictures one room at a time. Since I am most excited about my bedroom, it's up first.
The only pictures from my bedroom you are missing is the wall of closets I have opposite my bed and my bathroom. Since closets are uneventful and I still haven't unpacked my bathroom all of the way, you're just going to have to imagine what those things look like :)
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| My Aunty Joy gave me this queen size bed since she wanted to upgrade her guest bedroom. It's the first bed I've ever had bigger than a twin, which makes me feel pretty grown up! |
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| I am very much looking forward to sleeping on my new comforter set tonight! Since purple is my all time favorite color it was the obvious choice when sorting through so many comforter options. |
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| The purple chest has been with me ever since I moved into my very first apartment and I love it dearly. The couch is a result of the generosity of my Aunt Joy (thanks Aunty!) Having TWO diploma frames is the result of 4 years of undergrad + 2 long years of graduate school. It's hard to believe that I am weeks away from being able to fill that second frame! Who would have ever thought I would have two diplomas hanging above such a comfortable couch in a St.Paul apartment?! Not me! |
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| You can't have a couch without having a tv! I have to say that I am pretty thrilled with the idea of coming home from work, popping in a Netflix and knitting on my super comfortable love seat. I have GREAT living room furniture also but it's always nice to have space to call my very own. |
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